26 06 2011

me and kyle don’t talk anymore. i mean we do. sometimes. but it’s not the same. at all. it’s so casual. and it feels like neither of us wants to talk to each other. and i don’t, really. i only talk to him now to prove to myself that what i felt before was real. but to be completely honest, i don’t think it was. i think i was pretending. maybe even forcing feelings. and i know this. i know i didn’t truly have feelings for him. because despite the fact that i cried and despite the fact that i did think he was great, when he told me he’s seeing someone and the truth hit that we’d never be together,
i
felt
nothing.
and i know it wasn’t real.
i liked the idea of him.
i liked the idea of love.
but not him.
not kyle.

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