7 07 2011

i can’t even begin with emilia. she is one of the most bitter, alone and illogical people i’ve ever met. she thinks she has this all figured out. and hell, maybe she does. but i’m not going to retaliate. i’m going to sit here, at peace, and let her ruin herself. she created drama, literally out of insecurity because, i believe, the reality of how alone she is, is sinking in. i never have and never will understand how and why people could cause pain to someone else just because they’re unhappy. who in their right mind wants to cause others unhappiness? why would someone not be considerate and empathetic? i’m trying to put myself in her shoes, i really am. but the truth is, i would never, ever do such a thing to someone. i can’t even comprehend what is going through her mind. i don’t even want to know the things she told sam and jessica because i can only imagine the lies she came up with. i can only imagine the denial in her eyes if she were ever confronted. i could ruin that girl, i could. but i would never. i like to believe i have an ounce of integrity and dignity left to not go tormenting other people’s lives in order to feel better about mine. i can’t trust anyone. i have to fear everything i’ve trusted jessica, sam and emilia with thus far. who’s to say they won’t publicly humiliate me. hm, i would definitely not be surprised. and the worst part is that, through out all of this, i haven’t gotten one straight answer. from any one of them. i guess i have to trust time. and god forbid, god. ’cause i know that i haven’t done anything wrong. at least not enough to deserve this. girls will be girls. and girls are vicious. and people change. and friends leave. and life doesn’t stop for anybody. hm. goodnight.

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